My name is Christina Elder. I am 29 years old and a preschool teacher in Tulsa, OK. I was 28 when I decided to come out to my family. It was shortly before then, I decided to come out to myself. You see, I had always denied there was anything "different" about me. I know how I felt when there was a beautiful and intelligent woman around but refused to lead such a life style that could cause so much pain and misery. Instead, I did what all little girls are told to do. I grew up, got married, had kids of my own, and for 8 years, tried to figure out why this was miserable. Of course there were good times, but there was an emptiness and loneliness that could not be filled by stuff. On January 20, 2003, I met the most amazing woman online. She was and still is, beautiful, intelligent, articulate, and proud of her bisexuality. While talking to her, I found out that, I was lonely and empty because I was not being honest with myself or the people who cared about me. When I decided to come out, I was still married. A lot of my family was not too pleased but assured me that they love me. I haven't heard much from my mom since I told her. I knew deep inside that it was important for me to live my life for me for once. In December 2003, I woke up with a terrible pain and went to the hospital. After many tests, it was determined that I needed to undergo a laprascopic procedure. When I woke up, it turns out I was less than 24 hours away from death. I had a foot of my colon removed and had gangrene. That was my wake up call. It was time to finally live. I came out to my then husband shortly after that. He was very supportive and it was agreed upon that a divorce was the only option. He lives less than a mile from me now and we share joint custody of the children and are amazing friends. I am very fortunate and I do not take that for granted at all. Coming out to my dad was the hardest. I have never wanted to let him down or disappoint him. The person I thought would hate this the most has turned out to be my biggest supporter. Watch out PFLAG! I am most pleased at what I have taught myself. I went straight from daddy's house to being married and after the divorce, I wondered how I could do it. For the last 8 months, I have supported myself, even buying my first house. On Tuesday, September 7, 2004, the woman who has been there for me throughout this entire leg of my journey, will journey across two states to continue her life with me. I am thankful for all my blessings and for the past 19 months. And I always remember, "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."~Unknown Thank you for letting me share my story!