Father's Day is this Sunday. It is supposed to be a day of honoring your Dad. Fathers are supposed to be the men in our lives who provide protection and guidance. The guy we go to for advice, the man who is supposed to make us feel safe and wanted and important: the fellow that issues us unconditional love. Oh, if it were that easy, what a different place this might be. What a different path I might have taken. Where would you be had you had this influence?

Statistics tell us that more than 6/10 children grow up in homes with absent fathers. Some never even know their Dad's. Others know them all too well: abuse, fighting, drugs, alcohol, disrespect for the women in the household…I wish there weren't too many more items on this list. We all know there are.

My Dad taught me a lot of things. The only time I remember being struck by my father was when I was 5 years old and told my Mother "no" to something she asked me to do. He backhanded me into Texas. I never talked to her that way again. Lesson learned, among many.

Webster's dictionary tells me that the definition of Father is this: to make oneself the founder, producer or author of, to accept the responsibility for. I don't know what the word "Father" means to you today. What feelings it elicits when you hear it. What old memories you have that make you smile or wince. I don't know the relationship you have or had with the man that created you. Only you can determine what importance it holds for you. But if you had a less than adequate experience with the word, change it.

God, the Father, never meant for men to be reckless with their lives, to take advantage of women or children or to abandon their tasks of guardian. You do not have to be male to have Father-like characteristics. Become the Father to your spirit that you never had. Produce unconditional love for yourself. Become the protector and guidance counselor of your life. It is not too late to control your destiny. It never will be.