We face many decisions everyday. Lots are somewhat meaningless in the scheme of things: what clothes to wear, what to have for lunch, which movie to watch. All seem fairly important at the time. It is all relative.

What I have been focusing on here recently are much more demanding of my thoughts. I am experiencing an uneasiness that comes from deep within and is gnawing at me from somewhere in the shadows. It isn't frightening or threatening. It isn't ugly or painful. It simply is a presence that I can no longer ignore.

I am searching for meaning. I am researching the avenues open to me to complete an assignment I haven't quite put my finger on. I am traveling towards something, somewhere unknown but I know it is a pathway I am destined to find.

I face many dilemmas. I have to make up my mind and choose. I usually do not have all the facts or information I need so I often choose blindly….or so I think. But something is guiding me along. Something is steering me towards the destination.

I have been questioning my existence, my purpose, and my role in the universe. From conversations I have recently had with some of you, I know you are facing some of the same questions. I have a book of questions that I am working on that force me to go back and look at my past, study the present and plan for the future. It is very helpful and eye opening. It is soothing, it is healing. It isn't, however, all fun and games.

One of the assignments is to paint yourself as you are now, as you were at your lowest point and as you want to someday be. It is not a physical picture. It is more complex and complicated. It is you…stripped down…..heart open…..and ready for the truth.

If you need to figure out your life: separate yourself from your parents, an old lover you can't quite seem to let go of, a religion that no longer suits you, a job that you have outgrown, or a host of other clutters you live in, take a step back and ponder this statement:

		By your decisions you paint a portrait of Who You Are.
					Neale Donald Walsch

What do you really look like?