Like most, I have been doing some spring-cleaning. Going through different rooms in my home, rearranging stuff in the closet, sorting through junk I thought at one time I had to have. It can be exhausting. And eye opening.

What was I thinking when I bought THAT? Did I ever think I would actually wear that some place? These shoes have never felt right. What to do? I got rid of it. Most of it, I mean.

I discovered that cleaning is a process of discovery. I found lost items, came upon things I had totally forgotten about and finally…..I unearthed memories I thought I had long been done with: filed away and processed. Ah, to be so wrong.

What is it about a picture that can send you spiraling into the past? I went below the depths to places I swore to never go again. I paused and just stared at it. I had body sensations, flashback episodes, and all the feelings surrounding that one shot in time came tumbling down upon me. I shuddered. I became a mess. Right there, right then I knew. I had to deal with it. And I dreaded it, knowing it would be a dirty job.

It's taken a couple of weeks but I am now on the right path. I made myself go back, retrace, redo, rethink and refeel. I analyzed, dissected, thought about it and allowed myself all the feelings I had so proudly pushed away. That never works. Things just resurface. And every time they reappear, they just create bigger problems.

So if you have issues that you procrastinate in dealing with, let me give you a bit of advice: all a mess needs is a little attention.

Try it. You can't get it clean unless you go through the dirt.