Molly's Musings is for the random thoughts in life--some really deep, others very. . . Molly's Musings are meant to get you thinking, laughing or, preferably, both. If you leave this page feeling offended. . .well, you need to open up your mind a little and work on your sense of humor now, don't you? :-)

Something interesting happened this past week at work--I talked about "The L Word" with one of my coworkers. We had been talking about Showtime and "Big Brother After Dark" a couple of days earlier and the one gal said she got Showtime to watch "The L Word." Well, I don't have much of a poker face and she could tell by my reaction that I was familiar with the show. A couple of days later, she asked me if I watched it and I told her that I did and it was cool to talk about whether or not Tina and Bette will get back together, etc. I think she's finally starting to put a few pieces of the puzzle together as I've noticed that she's starting to use generic pronouns like "someone" instead of "finding yourself a man."

I wish I didn't have the bit of fear that I have in being totally out. Let's face it, most of us living here in Oklahoma have protection against discrimination unless we're working for Oklahoma County or a company that has a policy in place (Hertz and WalMart come to mind). I do work with a group of people that's more conservative than I've ever work with before--would they treat me differently if they knew? Would they try to make it so miserable for me that I'd have no choice but to go work someplace else? Those are thoughts that sometimes pop into my head. Deep down, I know if I come totally out, I will be okay but I worry about how much I could lose. Of course I'm losing a lot now by keeping my mouth shut. I know it's just a matter of time before I decide that what I'm losing now is not worth what I may or may not lose. Until then, I'll continue gently pushing that closet door until it's all the way open.

Until next time.