Previously on "The L Word". . .
This episode opens up with Alice talking about a dream she had about Jenny's movie--a "Charlie's Angels" theme. I'm going to admit that my first thought was that this show is going down. In the dream, the "angels," consisting of Alice, Helena, and Shane, were to use gaydar guns on Jenny. I wished they would have used paintball guns on her. . .
Shane is on Day 3 of her celibacy--giving up sex and drama. Shane, Alice and Tina are at the gym, where Shane has been spending a lot of her new found free time. Jenny is also there "working out"--i.e. her assistant, Adele, is handing her the weights, helping her on the stair-stepper, etc. Shane, Alice, and Tina are sickened by it and Tina wonders what's wrong with Adele. Shane and Alice talk to Tina about dating and tell Tina that she's being rather snobbish.
After their workout, they're in the locker room and a girl comes up to Shane and starts admiring her body. Shane shoos her off and Alice and Tina don't think it'll be long before she caves. They notice a poster about an upcoming run for breast cancer research, which Jenny is in "training" for. The others decide that they want to do it and form "Team Dana" (it's about time they reference Dana this season) and Jenny cautions them on how important it is that they train for it as they won't make it through without it. Quite honestly, I hope they show this run and show Jenny doing a face plant in the ground as she drops with exhaustion.
Meanwhile, at the prison yard, Helena has found a new sort of job--collector for Dusti. She goes around collecting cigarettes for payment. I guess her and Dusti are the main gang?
Max talks to his friend about how Jodi's interpreter hit on him. His friend says that she's dated other trans guys who wind up being attracted to men. At first, Max tries to say he's only attracted to females but starts wondering if he might not be attracted to males. Of course Tom can't take his eyes off of Max.
Jodi invites Bette to go to Big Bear to meet some of her oldest friends. It's a get together they've been doing for 11 years and Bette tries to cancel out because of work and Jodi tells her it's the first time she's invited someone to go with her and Bette changes her mind.
Alice and Shane decide to find someone for Tina via OurChart. While looking through the profiles, Alice finds one only to be informed by Shane that the girl is crazy in bed. Onto the next profile.
Max is setting up for a video interview of Alice and Jodi. Tom comes over to flirt with him while he is setting up and asks about the camera and we have what is our first product placement on "The L Word" as Max launches into a description of the wonderful Panasonic camera he's using. Boring. During the interview, Jodi teaches Shane and Alice the various signs for lesbian and lesbian sex.
Tasha meets with her lawyer with the papers notifying her that she's been recommended for discharge for homosexual conduct. Her lawyer goes through all of the allegations, one being made by her CO, who had seemed to be supportive in the past. Her lawyer is rather unsympathetic until Tasha goes off on him about all that she's done for the army. He changes his tune quite a bit and without saying as much, implies that she's going to have to lie to get out of it. Tasha and Alice talk about what's going on and Alice offers to go on the down low for awhile until it blows over but Tasha tells her that she doesn't want her to do that.
Bette and Jodi drive up to Big Bear and along the way, Bette shows a bit of her controlling side as she tries to grab the wheel when Jodi pulls both hands off to sign. Jodi also tells Bette that she is snob when she kind of winkles her nose about one of Jodi's friend's experience in the art world. They get up there late, everyone is already in bed and they learn the next morning that they woke everyone up when they had sex. Bette immediately feels like an outsider with Jodi's friends but at the same time, doesn't really try to get to know her friends. While they all play football, Bette is sitting off by herself working on her work. A couple of the guys come over and try to get her to play but she brushes them off but the one guy gives her a choice--play football or get tossed into the lake. She tries to dismiss him and he picks her up and tosses her into the lake and jumps in himself. Bette is pissed. Later on, he tries talking to her about art at showings in smaller communities and she catches herself being snobby and decides to look at the stuff he's talking about, which thrills him but Bette winds up rolling her eyes at Jodi after he leaves the room.
Helena and Dusti are working on a puzzle together in their cell. Dusti tells her about some land that her grandfather owns on an island and then suddenly, the guard is at the door telling Helena that she's got a visitor even though it's late. Helena tells Dusti that she'll be back but Dusti is doubtful and gives Helena the piece of the puzzle with the island on it. Peggy Peabody is back in town and getting cat calls as she walks to the visiting area in the jail. One gal says to her that she wants to eat her pussy. Peggy stops and responds with a classic, "Were I receptive to such a proposition, it would first require a full booty check. And were you to pass muster, baby I'd give it to you family style."
Peggy is disgusted that Helena's gotten herself in the trouble she's in and tells Helena that she's got the lawyers working on getting her record expunged. Helena tells her that she's doing fine by herself and that she's willing to pay her debt to society and Peggy reminds Helena that she's a Peabody and that Peabodys don't pay their debt to society.
Shane is exploring all sorts of new things during her celibacy including taking care of things like filing her insurance for the fire, cleaning out her closet, expanding her vocabulary, wanting to quit smoking, and meditation. While she's at home meditating, Jenny's clacking on the computer keyboard (BTW, one nice thing about this episode was the fact that there was very little Jenny) and then later having to deal with Jenny acting like a bull in a china shop making all sorts of noises as she leaves the house. Shane gives up trying to meditate.
Tina goes out on a date with a girl from the Chart. They go back to the girl's house and Tina is taken in with the art collection and they wind up hooking up.
Kit gets robbed at gunpoint at the Planet. She calls Bette the next morning and Bette packs up hers and Jodi's things and drives over to where Jodi and some of her friends are and tells Jodi that they have to leave and why (Bette is afraid that Kit will start drinking if there isn't anyone around to support her). Jodi is hesitant on leaving (what kind of girlfriend is she that bowling is more important than supporting her girlfriend with a family crisis?) but decides to leave. The art guy actually asks Bette if she made it up because she wasn't having a good time. Gotta love Bette with her response, "Miss out on the chance to wear smelly, used shoes, drink warm domestic beer and kick your ass?"
Helena and Peggy show up the next day at the Planet. Peggy says that Helena is going off to Europe while her legal mess is being cleaned up. Peggy makes remarks about how the lesbians of L.A. haven't been good for Helena and how Helena would rather spend time with a criminal butch dyke like Dusti. Helena gets defensive about Dusty and makes it clear to everyone that this is good-bye. She heads off to the loo and out the back door, where Shane has gone for a smoke. She asks Shane if she'll cover for her--says that she hid the money and that she's going to get Dusti out of jail and that they're going to go off to the island. Shane's in shock and agrees to cover for her and they hug good-bye. Shane, who hasn't had any physical contact with a female for days starts kissing Helena, who is shocked. Shane is embarrassed but Helena says it's okay and leaves.
Side note: to say that I'm pissed about Helena leaving the show is an understatement. I'm tired of the revolving door of characters. Helena's character has gone through some realistic growth, has shown some depth, and as a viewer, I appreciate characters like that. The writers keep bringing in all of these new characters (e.g. Papi, Max, Carmen, Helena, Phyllis, and Jodi) and it's like they bring too many in and a lot of them go to waste (Papi, Helena, and Phyllis--who wasn't in this weeks episode at all). The character of Max--he spent most of the episode asking people to view his podcast for crying out loud. Papi and Phyllis won't be missed. IMO, Jodi won't be missed when she's gone (and I think she'll be gone after this season). Helena is going to be missed--she brought a different humor to the show and I'm going to miss it (rumor has it she'll be back for a couple of more shows this season and that the writers admit that they've done a poor job with her character).
Next week: Bette learns that Tina had sex on the first date. Jenny starts casting for her movie. The Army shows up at Alice's.