Previously on "The L Word". . .

A major phone marathon going on with people calling each other, texting each other and putting one another on hold to talk to someone else. It was rather humorous.

Alice is avoiding talking to Phyllis, who is driving Bette nuts because Alice won't talk to her. Alice calls Shane and learns that Shane has to go to a premiere party to promote the underwear. Alice tells Shane that she's going to invite the gang for support but Shane doesn't want her to. Phyllis wants Bette to get Alice to talk to her. Helena is depressed because she lost money on the catering job. Papi tries setting Alice and Tasha up and tells Alice that another ticket is needed for Tasha to be able to go to the premiere. While using Jenny's phone, Shane learns that Alice has invited a bunch of people and tells her that she needs a ticket for Tasha, who Shane refers to as "Papi's angry friend."

While using Jenny's phone, Lindsey calls it and asks for Debbie and Shane doesn't know who Debbie is. Jenny gets on the phone and asks Lindsey to go look for a puppy with her during the weekend but Lindsey informs her that she's going away for the weekend with Stacy. Jenny calls Stacy and pretends she's from another magazine and tells her that they need someone to interview Shane at the premiere and Stacy drops her plans with Lindsey, who calls Jenny all upset and invites her to the weekend getaway.

Jodi goes to Bette's office and confronts her about avoiding her ever since they almost kissed. Bette tells Jodi that she's not sure how to respond to that and after Jodi leaves, Bette asks her assistant to find some web sites for learning sign language. Tina stops by and her and Bette fight about where to send Angelica to preschool. Bette wants to send her to a place that costs $18K a year and Tina tells Bette that she's not going to let her stress Angelica out. Bette says that it's an "ivy league education." Like that's really needed for a preschooler.

Alice has a poker game at her house so Papi can teach her and Helena how to play poker as there is a big poker game taking place after the premiere. Papi invites a lot of extra people and calls Helena "English Muffin." The girl who Papi lured away from Shane shows up and she's all in love with Papi. Later, another girl shows up and sits on Papi's lap and the two start fighting over Papi. Tasha helps break it up and tells Papi to handle her bitches. Alice winds up getting hit in the face and Tasha takes her to the hospital.

While they are at the hospital, Alice learns that Tasha is in the National Guard and was in Iraq. Alice pisses Tasha off by asking her if it's her job to kill innocent Iraqis. Tasha almost leaves but Alice apologizes.

Max talks to a girl at work and learns that the guy who wouldn't hire him as a female has promoted a guy instead of promoting the more qualified girl. Max tells the girl she ought to sue and she does. Max overhears some of the guys talking about it and learns that the boss has the guy's back so Max goes to the boss and tells him that this guy has treated women unfairly and says that he did it to him when he was a she.

Angus stops by Bette's office with Angelica. Bette covers Angelica's ears before she asks Angus about f*cking Hazel, the other nanny. Angus tells Bette that she has no business getting onto someone for cheating and says that he's going to break it off with Hazel but didn't know whether or not he should tell Kit. Bette asks him if he wants to break Kit's heart by telling her and breaking the trust.

Bette goes to Jodi's studio and they talk. Bette tells Jodi that Jodi scares her. They kiss and wind up doing the deed.

Shane drops Shay off at Paige's (the school mom) house because Paige is going to babysit Shay for her. Paige makes it clear that she wants to hook up with Shane but Shane tells her that she doesn't want to screw things up with her and that when she gets too close to someone, she pushes that person away and that she doesn't want to do that to Paige. Paige offers her friendship to Shane.

At the premiere, Stacy tries getting Shane's attention on the red carpet and Shane recognizes her name and says, "Aren't you the vagina wig?" (Jenny's nickname for Stacy.) After the premiere, Paige calls Shane because Shay woke up from a bad dream and Shay is comforted from talking to Shane on the phone. Shane leaves the premiere early and goes over to Paige's and accepts her invitation to come in and eat meatloaf.

Helena gets invited to the big poker game and winds up losing $50K. The gal who she owes the money to knew about Helena getting cut off and tells her that there are other ways that she can pay off the debt.

Tasha and Alice talk and Tasha tells Alice that she wants to take things slow and that's fine with Alice. Tasha walks Alice home and Phyllis is sitting on her doorstep and tells her that she told her husband everything. Tasha says that she dosen't do drama and leaves.

Bette and Jodi go out on a date and Bette learns that Jodi doesn't like kids. The date ends bad, considering how cozy they got at Jodi's studio and later, Jodi goes over to Bette's house and asks if they can try again.

Jenny and Lindsey are at the getaway place and they're getting cozy. They kiss and things start getting steamy and then Lindsey says she can't cheat on Stacy like that and that she was going to talk to Stacy and break it off but didn't want to go any further until she talked to Stacy. Jenny starts getting a bad case of the guilts and tells Lindsey that she's been lying about everything but before she can tell Lindsey what all she's been lying about, Stacy is knocking at the door and then Jenny's cover is blown. Lindsey is totally distraught and leaves when she learns that Jenny lied about everything to try and prove that Lindsey wasn't the saint that Stacy portrayed her to be in her article.

Next time: Helena might be sleeping her way out out of debt. Jodi tells Bette that she's dating other women.