Previously on "The L Word". . .

This season is off to a whimper instead of a bang, in my opinion. They showed scenes from last season for each of the characters, to bring viewers up to speed. I was disappointed that they didn't show anything regarding Dana's death--like her death didn't impact the characters.

The "opening" scene showed Shane sinking under water, accurately reflecting what's going on in her life. And we had the regular opening music--which surprised me because I had read somewhere that it was getting changed.

It's less than 24 hours after Bette has taken off with Angelica and Alice, Jenny, Max, Kit and Helena gather in Alice's room for a phone intervention. They give messages of support to Bette and Tina busts in during the middle of it with threats. Side note: Lara is now gone as she took a job out of town. Perhaps that's what she wanted to talk to Alice about when Alice didn't want to talk?

Bette is on the run with Angelica and calls to talk to her lawyer (Joyce). Kit manages to track her down and convinces her to come back. Tina and Bette meet in Joyce's office and accuse each other of lying. They decide that they will take it to court and then Joyce mentions how it will become a media circus, that religious groups and gay and women activists will get involved and how their daughter will be drug into it. They reconsider and decide to work out a visitation schedule.

Kit thinks she's pregnant as she's taken a number of home pregnancy tests and decides to have an abortion. She goes to a clinic with Angus and apparently it's a pro-life clinic as one of the workers busts into the examination room and starts showing Kit pictures of what her baby will look like after an abortion. Kit gets upset (and rightfully so) and leaves the clinic.

Helena is starting to adjust to life without money and Alice is there to give her tips--no more limos, taxis and porters to carry her luggage. Helena learns that she needs to give up her rental house and also learns that the movie studio has been sold. She now has a credit card with a credit limit of $3500 and grouses about how that's not enough to pay for a pair of shoes (WTF? My whole wardrobe, shoes included, is probably less than $3500.) Alice suggests that Helena moves in with her.

Jenny and Max start packing up Carmen's things. Jenny says that what Shane did was unforgiveable--nice talk from someone who gave a speech about how loyal of a friend Shane is--Jenny needs to wake up and be there for Shane just like Shane is for everyone else who screws up in life. Max says that he understands why Carmen wouldn't forgive Shane but thinks that Jenny should and mentions how he has forgiven Jenny for sleeping with Claude in Canada. Jenny points out that her and Max don't fit anymore since Max identifies as a straight male and that she identifies as a lesbian. As I'm watching it, I'm thinking that it should be about the person inside and not the labels but as Max has transitioned, he has become somewhat of a jerk and rather unlikeable. Turns out, it's because he's taking too much "T" as he learns from a support group.

Max's boss suggests that Max meet his daughter (okay, general rule to live by--don't go swimming in the company pool). Max addressed his boss as "Boss"--who does that? And another thing--I've never seen a true computer geek's desk look so neat and uncluttered. No geek magainzes, books and gadgets to be found. If the writers want us to believe that Max is a computer geek they need to pay attention to detail. Last season they mentioned the wrong stuff when talking about Windows platform and now they're missing other geek details. There are plenty of us lesbian geeks watching--don't think we're not noticing:-)

Jenny is getting ready for her book signing and is reading the reviews online. Alice shows Jenny and Helena OurChart.com, a lesbian networking site, stemming from Alice's chart that she developed during the first season. According to "The Chart," Shane has slept with 963 women and the girls discover by checking out Carmen's constellation that she slept with a woman named Papi who has slept with more women than Shane. Alice wants to find out who this Papi is and claims that Papi is causing their servers to crash and have their web developers scrambling (again, lack of knowledge on the geek details--a couple of hundred additional records isn't going to cause servers to crash).

Jenny's fling, Claude, from Canada shows up. In getting ready for the book signing, Max walks in on them in bed together and Jenny's tied up and Claude is standing over her with a whip. That's a scene that has scarred my brain--bad visuals. And how about shutting the door when you're going to engage in something private?

Shane is over at Cherie's and in a drug induced haze. She's obviously upset about leaving Carmen at the alter and winds up taking off in Cherie's car. She goes over to Carmen's family's house and gets told that Carmen doesn't want to see her and her male cousins start pushing her around. She leaves and winds up crashing the car and walks away from the crash hurt. She goes home and finds her dad's wife, Carla, sitting on the porch. Shane apologizes to Carla for coming into their lives and Carla tells her that she's left a gift for Shane on the back porch. It's Shane's half-brother, Shay.

At the book signing, just as Kit starts to introduce Jenny to the crowd, a blast from the past shows up--it's Marina, the first woman Jenny was with. Claude asks Jenny if she thinks if Marina would have sex with the two of them and Jenny says she dosen't think so and Claude tells her to ask. They go to Marina's hotel room and we have a suprise--Jenny leaves. Now Jenny has had a lot of "firsts" since "The L Word" started--first time being with a woman, first going to the bathroom when another woman was sitting on the stool, first "relationship" with a female transitioning to a male, first whips and chains--I cannot believe she turned down her first threesome (not that I'm condoning threesomes--being a person who strongly believes in monogamy it's not for me but to each their own) given that her track record suggests that she's not afraid of experimenting. She says that Claude and Marina can go ahead and she leaves and Claude stays.

Also at the book signing, Tina shows up with Henry and accuses Helena of backing away from her, even though Helena already had her back to them because she was at the bar getting stuff to drink. Tina thinks that everyone hates her because they view her as heterosexual now.

So that wraps up the premiere for season 4. Next time: Alice goes looking for Papi. Max goes out with the boss' daughter. Bette's new boss thinks she's a lesbian. Shane starts dealing with her half-brother.