Previously, on The L Word. . .

The opening flashback scene takes place in the 70's and a bunch of women are gathered together to learn about their vaginas (ala "Fried Green Tomatoes"). Apparently that was the thing to do in the 70's. One of the ladies, presumably Jenny's mom, has a lesbian fling at this little gathering of women.

The opening music appears here to stay. I think it's starting to grow on me.

It's 6 months later from the end of last season and Alice and Dana have broken up because Dana needs closure with Laura. Alice is all sorts of depressed and is popping pills to help cope. Okay, there is a lesson to be learned here--do not fall in love with someone who you start something with when the other person is in a relationship with someone else because your heart will get broken. Dana was with that gold digger when her and Alice started and Dana was with Alice when her and Laura started.

Tina and Bette's baby, Angelica, is now 6 months old and Tina and Bette take her to a little social thing for infants. Bette is very competitive for her child as she scrambled to grab a triangle for Angelica during the music portion and called the guy who got it first an asshole. They are trying to get Bette second parent adoption rights--something that's not an option here in Oklahoma.

Jennifer Beals is pregnant is real life and they are doing the cover-up thing--always showing her holding the baby or something else in front of her, etc.

Kit has health problems and goes to see her son, who is a doctor. She's thinking it's something serious, turns out it's menopause.

Helena gets a tarot card reading, which indicates that a romance with a bi-sexual woman is in her future. All signs are pointing to Alice, who is now friends with Helena (that's where I hate the "6 months later" thing--how is it that they're friends?) Alice and Helena go to a yoga class together, where Alice is sobbing, more pill-induced than anything, and parts of the targot card reading start falling into place for Helena.

Bette and Tina go to a sex therapist where it's revealed that they call each other "Mama T" and "Mama B," which the sex therapists says is for making cookies. They tell the sex therapist that the baby doesn't have a scheduled bed-time (I'm not a parent and I know this isn't good for a kid) and that they are practicing "attachment parenting"--the kid is never put down, always held, and doesn't even have a crib. Is it any surprise that they're having problems in the bedroom?

At The Planet, Shane and Carmen are together and obviously very happy. Shane's going to go and meet Carmen's family and "act straight." The gals start talking about the various names used for the word vagina when Bette and Tina arrive--personally, I hate the "c word" but Laura is a fan of that one. Alice shows up, all drugged up and starts bringing up the ways her and Dana used to refer to it and drives off Dana and Laura.

Tina and Bette have a home visit from a social worker and the social worker is not impressed as their place isn't child-proof, there are no baby toys, the baby isn't ever put down, the baby doesn't have her own crib, and there's no significant man in Angelica's life (was it me or was that social worker getting rather sexual in nature when asking about that? The way that she was describing if there was a man that Angelica would be able to rub her cheek against an unshaven one, run her fingers through the curly hairs on his chest--the way she was going on with her descriptions was something like you'd read in a romance novel--not something that would apply to a 6-month-old baby). To complicate matters, Alice shows up and hits the social worker's van. Alice is all drugged up and upset after having a road rage incident chasing down Dana. Dana calls Alice on her cell phone and they exchange words. One of the funny moments during this episode was when Alice got stopped at a light and started to lose sight of Dana and asked her which way she was planning on going so that she could continue to chase her. Dana hangs up, of course.

Jenny's staying with her mom and step-father and in therapy after last season's cutting episode. Her mother and step-father do not accept her sexuality. Jenny's got somewhat of a girlfriend there and asks her to go to L.A. with her. Jenny decides that she's going to leave in the middle of the night but her and her girlfriend get caught having sex at her parent's house on the way out.

Shane and Carmen visits Carmen's family and Carmen's mom totally loves Shane. Carmen's mom invites Shane to some big family function and proceeds to pull out a dress for Shane to wear to it. It must be love--Shane tried on the dress.

Alice spies on Dana and Laura at their house as they are starting to get intimate. Laura feels a lump on Dana's breast (spoiler alert--TV Guide or something like that said that the issue of breast cancer would be dealt with this season). Alice goes home and lights candles and looks at her Dana shrine.

Next time: Alice goes to a love addict's meeting. Jenny's girlfriend gets beaten up for looking like a guy. There are also a few new characters who we didn't see in this first episode and apparently Mark is either gone or the new guy is a replacement.