Dear Dykes,

I've always hated Valentine's Day, until very recently. I've started dating a great girl, and we've been together for two months now. This will be the first time I've ever actually had a date for Valentine's Day, and I'm not exactly sure about the protocol as far as getting presents, who should pay for dinner, etc. What do you two think? And what are you doing for V-day this year?

Thanks,
Nancy

The Dykes Say...

Sarah: Happy early Valen-times, Nancy!

Jill: It's tines. Valen*tines.*

Sarah: It's a time for Valens.

Jill: Whatever. Anyway, Nancy, the problem of who pays is definitely a valid one when you're in a relationship involving two women. Is it the butch, since (traditionally) the man would pay? It's a tough one. I suggest you split all tabs evenly down the middle, unless you want to pay for her, which would be sweet.

Sarah: (Something tells me she's giving me subtle hints that it would be sweet if I paid for her dinner.) I agree with that logic. I see nothing wrong with, say, you paying for dinner and your sweetie paying for whatever other entertainments you have planned for the day. That seems fair.

Jill: I'm not making *subtle* hints that you pay for my dinner. We've talked about this. I'm taking you to the zoo and you're paying for my dinner. As for what we're doing, we won't be able to celebrate on Valentine's Day itself because my boss is a bitch.

Sarah: Indeed. Now, as far as buying presents is concerned, I don't suggest you go overboard, since you've only been dating for two months. No need to buy diamonds or anything. Hell, presents may not be necessary at all, depending on what your plans are for the day.

Jill: If you want to get her something, a nice small bouquet or a Whitman's sampler wouldn't be amiss. Chocolate of any kind, in fact, would probably be greatly appreciated. I happen to like Godiva, myself.

Sarah: ::makes a note::

Jill: Anyway Nancy, hope that helps you out. I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day with your special lady.