Dear Dykes,

My name is Judy and I'm 18 years old. I've just started college this past fall, and I've met a wonderful girl named Cynthia. I've never felt this way about a girl before, and I'm a little scared at the prospect of telling my parents how I feel about her. I'm not even sure that I should. Do you think it'd be best for me to come out to my parents now, or wait until I'm absolutely sure I'm a lesbian?

Judy

The Dykes Say...

Sarah: This is a tricky one, Judy. You're fairly young, but obviously you've got strong feelings for this Cynthia. I'm not sure it's a matter of "making sure" you're a lesbian. The title doesn't really matter.

Jill: No, it doesn't. Stop asking yourself, "Am I sure I'm a lesbian?" and start asking yourself, "Am I sure I'm happy?". That's what matters. Once you figure *that* out, you can start thinking about whether to tell your parents or not.

Sarah: Exactly. What you don't want to do is come to your parents now, tell them you're a lesbian, cause a big scene (possibly), and end up breaking up with Cynthia three months later (God forbid, but I'm just saying). Then you'll just give your parents the impression that you don't really know what you want, or that you enjoy starting drama. It's really easy for young girls to go around saying, "I'm a lesbian" or just kissing girls to shock their friends and family. It's really sad, actually. But I'm getting off on a tangent.

Jill: Yes she is. So with that, we'll leave you to make your decision. Good luck, Judy.

Sarah:And remember, what's between someone's ears always matters more than what's between their legs. =)